How to Have Class: 9 Things You Shouldn't Do

Class can be found in the small, everyday choices that build over time. Sometimes, it’s not immediately obvious—there are people who don’t scream elegance, yet don’t seem to lack it either. They fall somewhere in the middle, and it can be hard to say for sure whether they truly embody class.

One thing is clear: it’s easy to spot those who fall short. We all know people whose behavior gives away the fact that they’re lacking class, for one reason or another.

Things Classy People Simply Don’t Do

Class is often more about what you don’t do than what you do. The missteps you avoid, and the restraint you show. There are behaviors and habits that immediately reveal a lack of class, often without us realizing it. These might be learned by repetition, observation, or simply by falling into patterns, rather than being chosen deliberately. But with more thoughtfulness and intention, these behaviors can be changed.

Start with awareness and watch out for these 9 things you should never do if you want to project class.

1. Don’t be late

Someone running late is like chaos in motion. That person doesn’t look graceful, put together, and usually forgets about manners. After all, there’s too little time to hold the door or move through a crowd without pushing and shoving. There’s nothing classy about it, for various reasons.

It’s obviously impolite to be constantly late, while others are already waiting.

Another thing is, a person who is consistently late is clearly disorganized.

If this happens and you arrive late to the meeting, don’t start the conversation by listing all your excuses. Don’t say you lost your keys, couldn’t find your wallet or phone, or had to iron clothes last minute. These don’t sound convincing. Rather, they make you seem unorganized. Instead, simply say you’re sorry.

If you truly have a reasonable excuse, you can share it if you choose to. But if the reason is simply that you’re chaotic, it’s better to keep it to yourself and, more importantly, work on yourself.

Also, as soon as you realize you won’t make it on time, text or call to give a heads-up.

Being late once in a blue moon is understandable—things happen, and most people are forgiving. But being late on a regular basis shows a lack of respect for others’ time, and that’s something that can’t be overlooked.

2. Don’t Interrupt Others

It’s easy to become excited and jump into a conversation, but interrupting someone while they speak is a quick way to make others feel unheard and unimportant. Whether it’s a casual conversation with a friend or a professional discussion in a meeting, allowing someone to finish their thought before responding shows patience and respect.

When people interrupt, it often signals two things. One, they’re often more focused on what they want to say than on understanding what the other person is trying to communicate. Two, this lack of self awareness reveals a lack of key communication skills.

Communication requires a set of abilities, including patience, understanding the social context, and staying present in the moment.

Listening isn’t just about hearing words—it’s about paying attention to tone, body language, and emotions. Interrupting shows a lack of self-awareness and an inability to read social cues, which makes conversations less respectful and meaningful.

Evy Poumpouras, a former Secret Service agent and author of Becoming Bulletproof, emphasizes that effective communication is about mastering the art of listening. In her book, she explains that it means giving someone your undivided attention, not just waiting for your turn to speak. Or, even worse, interrupting to push your own point.

Strong communicators have an exceptional ability to listen attentively and respond thoughtfully. This is one of the reasons leaders like Barack Obama stand out. You may agree or disagree with his politics, but that’s not the point. He’s a great speaker, and great speakers know when to pause and when to speak.

If you catch yourself interrupting, pause and reflect on why. Building emotional intelligence can help you elevate conversations and leave others feeling heard and valued.

3. Don’t put someone on a speakerphone

Another thing to avoid is putting someone on speakerphone—whether in your car, at home, or anywhere—without giving them a heads-up first. It’s a simple courtesy, and yet, many people overlook it. Not only does it make the person on the other end feel uncomfortable or exposed, but it also makes you seem inconsiderate of their privacy.

Speakerphones, especially in cars, can be very loud. By making your conversation public, you’re not only compromising the privacy of the person on the other end, but also disturbing those around you. People may not really care about what’s being said, but they certainly don’t want to be subjected to the noise.

You might think making phone calls while driving is a way to multitask and be more efficient. In reality, it often has the opposite effect. Your primary focus is—and should be—on the road.

Research indicates that engaging in phone conversations while driving can significantly impair attention. A study conducted by Carnegie Mellon University revealed that listening to a phone call while driving reduces brain activity associated with driving by 37%, leading to decreased reaction times and an increased likelihood of accidents. This means you’re not fully processing what the other person is saying or contributing something valuable to the conversation. Speaking with drivers can also be exhausting, as they tend to lose focus, interrupt themselves, or ask for things to be repeated because their attention is divided.

Always ask before you put someone on speakerphone, and respect their right to have a private conversation, even if it’s just a casual chat. If they hesitate or say no, respect their decision without pressuring them. Avoid dismissive comments like, ‘It’s nothing important’ or ‘No one’s really listening’. What may seem casual to you could still feel personal to them, so honor their boundaries without debate.

4. Don’t Dress for Convenience, Dress for the Occasion

While comfort is important, class is about knowing when and how to dress appropriately for any given situation.

Dressing for the occasion doesn’t mean you can never wear jeans. It just means certain events, like weddings or final exams, aren’t the time for them. Even on casual days, avoid old, washed-out, or ripped jeans. Also, while shopping, avoid clothes that are made to look worn on purpose just because that style is trendy. Instead, choose timeless pieces and take good care of them.

Well-fitted, quality clothing can be just as comfortable—if not more so—than loose sweatpants or workout leggings. Look for high-quality fabrics, especially natural fibers like cotton, linen, and wool. They not only regulate temperature better but also feel softer and more pleasant against your skin compared to synthetic materials.

People often point to high achievers like Mark Zuckerberg as examples of successful individuals who dress simply and casually. Simply doesn’t mean sloppy, though. The difference is that he often wears gray T-shirts and dark jeans, not oversized hoodies and baggy sweatpants. When the occasion demands it—such as at formal events or important meetings—he wears a suit. He didn’t show up at Congress or the White House in a T-shirt. In instances when he he didn’t stepped up and dressed more casually than he should have, he faced criticism for it.

Many believe what you wear doesn’t matter, but it does. Studies show that your clothing affects not only how others perceive you, but also how you perceive yourself. Research published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that wearing clothing with symbolic meaning—like a doctor’s lab coat—can actually enhance attention and performance, a phenomenon known as enclothed cognition.

It’s a huge factor influencing confidence, communication, and performance. It’s just another thing that reflects thoughtfulness. Appearance shows whether someone cares—or not.

5. Don’t Self-Aggrandize

Class is about recognizing your worth without the need for constant self-promotion. It involves allowing your accomplishments to speak for themselves. Those who have class are confident but not arrogant, capable but not boastful. They understand that respect is earned by showing up, putting in the effort, and being dependable. It doesn’t come from inflated self-promotion.

Self-aggrandizement damages relationships and makes teamwork or trust impossible. It creates resentment and fosters unnecessary competition.

Louis Litt from Suits is a perfect example of a character who constantly magnifies his own achievements, desperately trying to prove his worth. Obsessed with recognition, he brags about his accomplishments and tears others down to feel superior. Yet, despite all his efforts, it seems no one else sees the greatness he sees in himself. While he may have legitimate accomplishments, his mean-spirited approach makes him off-putting and alienates others. His relentless need for validation only pushes people further away.

In contrast, his colleague, Harvey Specter, embodies a quiet confidence and class that draws respect without the need for constant validation. While he does occasionally display confidence that borders on arrogance, it’s paired with charm, and competence that can back it up. He doesn’t chase approval and his self-assurance is rooted in a track record of success. Unlike Louis, who often leads with aggression and pettiness, Harvey is simply likable.

Desperate people make others feel uneasy, as they create tension and discomfort. They try too hard to impress, making the interactions feel forced. True strength and leadership come from standing out for all the right reasons. Those with class don’t advertise their value. They simply demonstrate it through their work, integrity, and the way they treat others.

6. Don’t Be On Your Phone Constantly

It’s easy to get caught up in the constant notifications and be glued to your phone.

Apps and social media are designed to be addictive. They often trigger the release of oxytocin—a chemical linked to feelings of connection and reward. This makes it harder to put your phone down, even when you’re with others. But don’t shrug it off and say, ‘It is what it is.’ Instead, take a closer look at what’s happening and why it’s happening to better understand and take control of your habits.

No matter the reason, checking your phone repeatedly while in conversation with others is rude. Not only does it signal that you’re not fully engaged, but it also creates the impression that you’re more interested in your online world than the people around you. If that’s the case, you need to make some changes, and stop acting impolite.

If you find the conversation boring or don’t genuinely enjoy the company of the person you’re meeting, it’s better to stop meeting them altogether than to waste both your time and theirs.

In situations where something important comes up, it’s always better to excuse yourself politely. You can also give a heads-up in advance if you’re expecting an important call or need to attend to something urgent.

7. Don’t let your emotions slip out

Emotional intelligence is all about self-control and self-awareness.

The ability to act appropriately, depending on the situation and social context, is key. People with high emotional intelligence can read the room, pick up on social cues, and adjust their behavior to fit the setting. This adaptability is often seen as a hallmark of sophistication and class.

Class is shown through maintaining composure, even when things get difficult. It’s about avoiding emotional outbursts or inappropriate reactions. Staying collected, no matter the circumstances, is a sign of strength.

This doesn’t mean you have to smile through disrespect or tolerate bad behavior. It means responding with calm and confidence. Being assertive with your boundaries without acting aggressive or overly emotional.

If you often find yourself in situations where others cross the line with you, take a moment to ask why. If this happens repeatedly, it could be that you’re coming across as apologetic, disoriented, or unsure of yourself. Others may perceive these qualities as weaknesses and may push your boundaries because they see you as an easy target. It’s not about fairness—it’s just how human interactions work.

In the end, it’s about controlling your reactions and choosing when and how to express yourself. Not letting others to control you.

8. Don’t Leave a Mess Behind

Whether you’re dining at a restaurant, visiting someone’s home, or working in a shared space, leaving a mess behind reflects poorly on you. It suggests a lack of consideration for others who have to use or clean the space after you.

In a restaurant, this doesn’t mean you need to jump in and help the waitstaff clear the table or walk with them to bring dishes back to the kitchen. That’s actually one of the things you shouldn’t do. You have to know dining etiquette, to know how to use the utensils properly, keep your napkin in your lap, and avoid creating unnecessary messes. The table should not become a cluttered storage space.

In someone’s home, leaving a mess is a way to signal a lack of consideration. Don’t create extra work for your host. If you make a mess, take responsibility and clean it up when possible. Don’t wait for someone else to handle it.

This principle extends to public or shared spaces as well. Whether at a park, a coffee shop, or an office, leaving trash or personal items scattered about reflects a lack of care for your environment.

Leaving a mess isn’t just about the physical clutter; it sends a deeper message about your respect (or lack thereof) for others and the space you share. Taking those extra few moments to clean up shows a strong sense of self-awareness and leaves a positive impression wherever you go.

9. Don’t post everything on social media

What you share online speaks volumes about you. Posting about sensitive personal matters, like health issues, injuries, or intimate moments (such as birth), may seem like showing your authentic self, but it can often feel uncomfortable or intrusive to others. There are moments in life that are meant to be private, not for public consumption.

Also, sharing too much can be a red flag for others. If someone doesn’t respect their own privacy, there’s a huge chance they won’t respect anyone’s privacy either.

Oversharing or constant updates give the impression that life is being lived through a phone, rather than fully experienced as it unfolds. It makes it look like a version of reality that’s curated for an audience. True class means knowing when to step back and enjoy experiences privately or with close friends—without the pressure of documenting every detail for others to see. It’s reflected in being thoughtful about what’s shared, showing that the value of a moment isn’t dependent on others’ approval.

While it may be tempting to share more, relentlessly posting can come across as attention-seeking or shallow. Not everything should be showed to the world. Some things are better left off social media.

Holding Yourself to a Higher Standard

Class isn’t about perfection—it’s about self-awareness, restraint, and respect. It’s reflected in how you treat others, how you present yourself, and how you handle the little things that often go unnoticed.

By avoiding these common missteps, you not only carry yourself with more grace, but also show that you hold yourself—and others—to a higher standard. And in a world where so many chase attention, there’s something quietly powerful about someone who simply knows better.

FAQ

Q: Why is being late considered a sign of a lack of class?
A: Being late is a sign of poor organization and disrespect for others’ time. It creates chaos and often leads to rushed interactions and bad manners.

Q: How can I improve my communication skills?
A: Practice being fully engaged by observing the other person’s tone, body language, and emotions. Avoid thinking about your response while they’re speaking. Instead, focus on truly understanding their message before replying. Books like Becoming Bulletproof by Evy Poumpouras or Cues by Vanessa Van Edwards offer great insights on reading social cues and improving your listening skills.

Q: What’s wrong with using speakerphone in public?
A: Using speakerphone without asking first can make others uncomfortable and disrupt the privacy of the conversation. It’s inconsiderate, especially when done in places like cars or public spaces.

Q: How should I dress to reflect class?
A: Dressing appropriately for the occasion is key. Class is shown by making an effort to dress well for events, even when opting for casual attire. Avoid overly casual or worn-out clothes, and focus on well-fitting, timeless pieces.

Q: Can dressing casually still be classy?
A: Yes, but only if you understand the context. Dressing for the occasion reflects your ability to adapt and be thoughtful. Casual doesn’t mean sloppy. Well-maintained, well-fitting clothes that suit the event elevate your appearance and help you appear put-together, which radiates class.

Q: Why is it rude to check your phone during conversations?
A: Constantly checking your phone shows you’re not fully paying attention, which feels disrespectful to the person you’re with. It signals that your online world matters more than the face-to-face interaction.

Q: How does social media addiction affect my behavior around others?
A: Social media apps are designed to be addictive, triggering feel-good chemicals that make it hard to disconnect. This can pull your focus away from real-life conversations, making you seem distracted or uninterested—even if that’s not your intention.